We are living in a time when many people have stayed far from the religion of Allah Taa'la. Sin and immorality have become so widespread, that there is no one who remains free from the faint of evil except the ones who are protected by Allah Taa'la.
However, Allah Taa'la will not allow but his light should be perfected, thus many people have awoken from the slumber of negligence. They have become aware of their failure to fulfil their duties towards Allah Taa'la, have regretted their carelessness and sin, and so have started to move towards the beacon of repentance. Others have grown weary of this wretched life of misery, and so they are looking for a way, out of darkness, to the light.
These people face many obstacles, which they think, stand between them and repentance, some of which exist within their own selves, and others in the world around them, but for this is nothing hard, it is upon the individual himself, that how much he cares for his/her life, and thinks about the hereafter often, let me bring your attention by telling you the story of Maalik bin Dinar.
Sheikh Maalik bin Dinar Rahmatullahi Alayhi was one of the most renowned divines of his times. It is said that, in his early life, he was not a pious man, and when someone asked him how he came to repent of his sins and abandon his evil ways, he related the following story about himself:
“I was a policeman in my youth, and was fond of wine and would drink like a fish. I drank day and night and led a carefree life. I bought a beautiful slave girl whom I loved most dearly. I had a daughter form her, a lovely child, and I was very fond of her, and she was very fond of me. When this baby daughter began to laugh and talk, my love for her increased and she remained with me all the time. The innocent child had a strange habit, whenever she saw a glass of wine in my hands; she would snatch it away and spill it on my clothes. However, being fond of her, I did not scold her. As fate would have it, my innocent child died when she was two years old and I was stunned with shock and heart-sore with bitter grief”.
One night I think it was the 15 th of Shabaan. I was dead drunk and went to sleep without performing my Esha Salaah. I had the most horrible and terrible dream, in which I saw, it was the day of resurrection, with everyone coming out of their graves, and I was one of those who were being driven to the place of assembly (Maidaan-e- Hasr). I heard the noise of something following me and looking back, I saw a huge snake chasing me close behind. It was the most horrible sight. The snake had blue catlike eyes, its mouth was wide open, and it was rushing towards me most furiously! I ran faster in terror, desperate for my life. The horrible snake was still running after me and drawing closer. I saw an old man dressed in elegant clothes with rich perfume wafting around him I greeted him saying, “As Salamu Alaykum”, and he returned my greeting. I said, “For the sake of Allah Taa'la, help me in my misery”. He said, “I am too weak to help against such a mighty foe, it is beyond my powers, but you must go on running, perhaps you may find some help to save you from it, running wildly I saw a cliff in front of me and climbed it, but on reaching its top, I saw beyond it, the raging fire of Jahannam, with its most horrifying spectacles. I was so terrified by the snake that I nearly fell inside. Meanwhile I heard a voice calling aloud,” Get back, for you are not one of them.” I came away and began to run in the opposite direction, the snake also turned around and came after me. I saw again that white man and said to him, “Old man, can't you save me from this snake, I asked you before but you did not help me”, the man gave me the answer and said to me, “ I am too weak to help you against such a mighty snake, but I can tell you that there is a hill nearby where they keep the sacred trusts of the Muslims, if you go up that hill, you might find something of yours, kept entrusted, which might save you from the snake.”
I rushed towards the hill, which was round in shape, with a large number of open contained casements. The casements had golden shutters with rich rubies, and the most precious jewels. On each shutter hung a curtain made of the rarest silk. When I was going to climb the hill, the angels called aloud, “Open the window, raise the curtains and come to out of your closets! Here is an unfortunate man in misery; maybe you have with you some “trust” of his that might help in his distress.”
The window opened at once, the curtains went up, and there issued forth from the casements a host of innocent children with faces bright as the moon, by this time I was utterly despondent, for the snake had drawn close to me, now the Children called their friends, “Come out quickly, all of you, for the snake has come very close to him!” Hearing this, more children came out of the windows in large crowds, and among them, I saw my own dear daughter who had died some time ago, she also spied me and began to weep exclaiming, “By Allah Taa'la, he is my own dear father!” She jumped on a swinging cradle, which seemed to be made from Heavenly light, and darted across me, next moment, she was standing by my side and with her right hand she was motioning the snake away. The snake went away immediately, then she gave me a seat and sat in my lap and began to stroke my beard with her right hand saying, “My dear Father, has not the time come for the Believers that their Hearts should submit in all humility to the remembrance of Allah Taa'la and to the truth, which is revealed” (Al Hadeed: 16)
So my dear readers! Close your eyes for a few minutes and think deep: How much have we broken the Commands of Allah Taa'la? Are we fulfilling his duties? Are we practising the Sunnah of the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wassallam? Is our life according to the Shariah? If our answer is in the positive; then we shall thank Allah Taa'la and ask for steadfastness until our death. But if our answers to those questions are in the negative, then HAS NOT THE TIME COME FOR THE BELIEVERS TO TURN TO ALLAH TAA'LA???
Since the dawn of time, man has forged and tried to advance himself by all manners, be it through capital gains or through technology, to become more civilized.
Allah through time has sent many a person to help mankind become civilized and become more in harmony with his spiritual self. One such personage was our beloved Prophet Muhammad .
The Prophet was sent to help mankind to tread upon the spiritual path, to teach and purify the inner qualities of the people reflected by their moral attitude. After being entrusted with the mission of calling the masses to bring faith upon Allah and to non-other than him, an additional task was given to the Prophet , this was moral conduct.
We have condensed Islam into just faith and worship, whereas in reality Islam is a complete way of life, and moral conduct is an integral part of being a Muslim.
All religions are undoubtedly based on good moral conduct. The teachings of all prophets and reformers have maintained, for example, that speaking the truth is good whereas lying is bad, that justice is right and oppression is wrong, that charity is virtue and theft is evil. As with other aspects of Islam, the teachings of the Prophet in this regard are complete and comprehensive. The Prophet himself said: ‘I have been sent to perfect virtues of courtesy and good behavior'. In another narration the Prophet's words are even clearer: ‘I have been sent only for the purpose to complete good behavior.'
The question is what is moral conduct?
Moral conduct relates to those mutual rights and obligations that fall upon human beings, the observance of which is not only proper but also essential.
When a person comes into this world, he forms a relationship, to a greater or lesser degree, with everything that is present here. He forms a relationship with family, friends, in fact with every person and everything connected to him in terms of, for example, gender, neighborhood, homeland, nationality etc. He even has a relationship with animals and the environment. As a result, certain obligations are incumbent upon him. It is the elegant and beautiful discharge of these that constitutes ‘moral conduct'. It is thus that when entrusted with this task, the Prophet carried out this task. He was still in Makkah when the eminent Companion Abu Dhar sent his brother there to investigate the circumstances and teachings of this new Prophet . After returning he told Abu Dhar :
“I saw him exhorting people to develop good manners.
When Abu Sufyan gave the description of the Prophet in the court of the Roman Emperor, whilst still a non-Muslim, about the reformatory message of the Prophet , he said that in addition to preaching the Unity of Allah and his worship, he also taught people to be chaste, to speak the truth and to keep good relations with kith and kin.
The Prophet has further said, “The believer whose faith is more perfect are those who have the best character”.
In another narration,”A person can attain through moral conduct the same status which is gained by fasting during the day and worshipping all through the night.” We can observe that from the above Ahadith, that achieving perfection of faith in Islam depends upon good conduct, for this is the fruit by which the tree of faith is identified. We can also see that moral conduct is that yardstick by which a person's status and honour can be measured. There are numerous Ahadith on this topic but from the few shown we can see the very high status that moral conduct holds in Islam. Also there are many verses in the Qur'aan attributing to moral conduct, one of these is following, “O ye who believe! Bow down, prostrate yourselves and do good that ye may prosper”.
The Holy Quraan states: "Surely there is for you the best example in the Messenger of Allah (Muhammad Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam), for whoever seeks the pleasure of Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah often (much)."
(Surah Al-Ahzaab:21)
Almighty Allah also says: "By the pen and that which they (men) inscribe. You are not, by the grace of your Lord, possessed. And surely for you is a reward unceasing (unfailing). And surely you are of great character."
(Surah Al-Qalam: 1-4)
Good conduct and noble character are the most valuable and precious assets of any human society. They are the treasures of pride for any individual. They build nations and make them imitable among others. No human society can be humane without them. Nations and people without good conduct and high character are nothing but a group of animals living with laws of the Jungle. People of high character and good conduct are high in any society.
There are two levels of character; an ordinary and a superior level. An ordinary character is based on this principle: "Do as you have been done by." Such a character might be termed a `knee-jerk character', because whoever possesses such a character, offers only `reflex responses' to treatment by others; i.e. breaking with those who break with him, wronging those who wrong him, and harming those who harm him.
However, the higher level of character is based on a different principle. This higher principle is: "Do as you would like to be done by." This principle is elaborated by our Holy Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) in another way: "Love for your brother what you love for yourself."
Whoever possesses such a character deals with both, friends and foes, in the same manner, irrespective of how this principle and way of thinking could easily change the behaviour of the whole human society. This is the moral revolution which paves way for all other successful and lasting revolutions and changes in society.
If all people could adopt this highly principled character, the enmity, antagonism, envy and bloody confrontations would diminish from the human society. The person possessing this character is reconciliatory, even joining with those who break with him. He is compassionate, even to those who seek to harm him. He is forbearing, even towards those who wrong him. This is the principle of ethics for the Muslim Ummah.
We all know that our Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) was the Final Prophet. He completed the principles of Islamic beliefs and teachings. He also came to accomplish the principles of noble characters and human values, as he stated himself saying: "I am sent in my mission to accomplish the principles of noble characters."
Our Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam), as a teacher of the best and highest conduct and characters, was himself an embodiment of all noble qualities and values. The whole of Makkah had witnessed his noble characters for forty years before he received revelations, and called him Al-Sadiq and Al-Ameen. Friends and foes nobody could dispute his sublime characters.
It is a fact that those who are closer to a person usually do not hold him in such high esteem as those who are further away. However this does not seem to be true in the case of our prophet (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam). History tells us that the closer one came to our Prophet (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam), the more one was taken by his fine qualities. The more the people knew him, the higher the respect they paid to him. This is in no way an exaggerated claim. The finest details of his characters and behaviours are recorded on the pages of history books.
And your lord has ordered that you worship none but him, and that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them a word but address them in terms of honour.”
“And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My lord! Bestow on them your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.” (Part 15: Surah 17 Al-Isra)
The most striking opening of an ayat, which starts with the obedience of Allah Taa'la and thereafter to be dutiful to your parents. This verse is clearly indicating towards the importance of obedience to the parents and fulfilling the orders laid by the lord of the universe himself.
Through the light of the Hadith, we will learn the importance of being righteous and obedience to our parents and the punishments of disobeying the command of Allah Taa'la.
The Final Prophet: Muhammad has said:
“The pleasure of the lord is the pleasure of a parent, and the wrath of the lord is the wrath of a parent.”
It is clear from this Hadith that to keep Allah Taa'la happy, it is necessary that our parents are happy with us.
SPEAKING GENTLY WITH ONE'S PARENTS.
In a Hadith, which I will quote briefly:
Taysalah ibn Mayyas said, “I did certain things that I can only consider as major sins. When I mentioned this to ibn Umar, he asked me what I had done, and he said that those are not major sins. Rather, he said “The major sins which are nine in number”. One of the nine that ibn Umar mentioned was causing ones parents to shed tears because of ones disobedience. Then ibn Umar said to Taysalah ibn Mayyas, “Do you fear the fire and desire to go to paradise?” Taysalah ibn Mayyas replied, “Yes, by Allah Taa'la!” he said. “Are your parents still alive?” I replied “Only my mother.” He replied, “By Allah, if you speak with her gently and give her food to eat, you will surely enter paradise if you avoid these major sins.”
BEING GOOD TO ONES PARENTS
Abu Huraira reported that once the Prophet was asked to whom one should be good to. He replied, “Your mother.” He was asked the same question a second time, and he replied, “Your mother.” He was asked the same question a third time and he replied,” Your mother.” He was asked the same question a fourth time and he replied,” Your father.”
DOING GOOD TO ONES PARENTS EVEN IF THEY ARE UNJUST .
Ibn Abbas said, “Any Muslim whose father and mother are Muslims and who wakes every morning with the intention of doing right by them will have two doors opened for him/her in paradise by Allah Taa'la. If only one parent is alive, then one door (will be opened). If he/she angers a parent, Allah Taa'la will not be pleased with him/her. Then the Prophet was asked, “What if one's parents are unjust to him/her?” He answered, “Even if they are unjust (one must act good to please ones parents)”.
THE REWARD FOR PARENTS
Abdullah ibn Amr said, “A man went to the Prophet to pledge his allegiance to him for the coming (from Makkah to Madinah). However, he left his parents crying. The Prophet told him “Go back to them and make them as happy as you have made them sad”.
This man had come to the Prophet to take an oath of allegiance on him on migrating; his intentions were auspicious and virtuous deeds. However, his parents did not agree to his separation, as migrating was not compulsory at that time. They became restless on the prospect of his journey and wept in sadness. When the Prophet learnt of this, he instructed the man to return to his parents and make them laugh just as he had made them weep.
This indicates the merit and significance of kindness to love ones parents and being a sin to do something which causes sadness to parents and makes them weep. It is virtuous and rewarding to do what makes them happy and laugh.
Hazarat Mu'adh reported that the prophet said “good news to those who are good to their parents, good will increase the length of their lives “.
THE PRAYERS OF PARENTS
Abu Ja'far heard Abu Huraira say that the Prophet said, “There is no doubt that three kinds of prayers will be answered, the prayer of the oppressed, the prayer of the traveller, and the prayers of the parents for their children”.
Prayers of parents for their children will be accepted immediately whether it is a prayer in the favour of the children or against the children, so we must do our up most best to keep our parents happy.
Certain people have included among whose supplication is definitely granted are those who treat their parents kindly.
Sayyidina Uwais al Qarni (Rahmatullahi Alayhi) was a resident of Yemen . The Holy Prophet called him the best of Tabieen (successors) and he said, “Get him to pray for your forgiveness”. He had embraced Islam at the time of the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wassallam but he could not present himself before the Prophet because he looked after his mother and thus remained deprived of the honour of companionship. It is clear from the conduct of Sayyidina Uwais Qarni, that to be good and mindful to parents is a very high ranking deed.
The Prophet said, “Uwais has his mother. He has treated her kindly. If Uwais claims (anything) on Allah Taa'la then Allah Taa'la will surely let him have what he claims”.
RIGHTS OF PARENTS
CONTENTS:
1. RIGHTS
2. OBEDIENCE
3. DISRESPECT
4. VIRTUES
5. STORY
6. STATUS
7. IMPORTANCE
see also: Heavenly Rights of Women
RIGHTS
Allah is our Creator and it was through our parents that He created us. This is the reason why He has given so many rights to the parents. It is stated, “Allah has ordered that do not worship anyone but Him and be dutiful towards your parents.”
OBEDIENCE
Hazrat ibn Abbas narrates from the Prophet that a person whose parents are alive and he obeys them, listens to and respects them, then Allah will open two doors of paradise for him. But if one of his parents is not happy with him, then Allah will not be happy with him either. Then someone asked the Prophet , “Even if they are oppressors?” The Prophet replied, “Yes, even if they are oppressors.”
DISRESPECT
It is said, a person who disobeys his parents, or disrespects them and does not listen to them, Allah will open two doors of hell for him. And if he disrespects only one of them, then Allah will only open one door of hell for him.
VIRTUES
Helping your parents is better then performing Jihad. Abdullah ibn Umar narrates that a person came to the Prophet and said, “I have intentions of going on Jihad.” The Prophet asked him, ‘Are any of your parents alive?’ He replied, ‘Yes.’ The Prophet said, ‘Do Jihad by helping your parents.’ From this we can gather how important parents really are.TOP
STORY
A man came to the Prophet and asked him, ‘My mother is very old. I feed her with my hands and I help her do ablution and I sit her down on my shoulders. Have I done enough to repay her for the things she has done for me?’ The Prophet said, ‘No. You have not even repaid he a bit. But Allah will give you a small amount of deeds for what you have done.’ Such is the value and status of a mother and this is because nothing can compensate for the chores she has born for her child since pregnancy to his upbringing.
STATUS
Bahys ibn Hakim said that he heard from his grandfather, that he had asked the Prophet , ‘Who should I do a good turn?’ The Prophet replied, ‘Your mother.’ His grandfather once more asked the Prophet , ‘Who shall I do a good turn?’ The Prophet said, ‘Your mother.’ His grandfather repeated the question a third time. The Prophet said, ‘Your mother.’ After repeating the question for the fourth time, the Prophet replied, ‘Then your father and then in order, your relatives.’
IMPORTANCE
Hadhrat ibn Abbas said, ‘At the time of the Prophet , there was a young man named Alkamah. He used to work very hard and give his earnings to charity. One day he became very ill. His wife sent a message to the Prophet . The Prophet sent Bilal , Ali , Suleman and Amar with these words, ‘See how he is.’ They went and found that he was indeed very ill and close to death. They spent some time trying to make him read the Kalimah, but something was holding him back. Hazrat Bilal returned to tell the Prophet about his condition. The Prophet asked, ‘Are his parents alive?’ Bilal replied, ‘His father has passed away, but his mother is still alive.’ The Prophet told Bilal to call his mother and if she couldn't come then the Prophet would come to her. As soon as Alkamah’s mother heard, she grabbed her walking stick and came right away. She did Salaam and the Prophet returned it and asked, ‘Tell me truthfully, if you don't, then I will learn by revelation. What sort of deeds did your son do?’ She told the Prophet that he was a very pious man, that he used to read prayers consistently, fast constantly and give alms abundantly. The Prophet asked her how he was with her. She said, ‘I am upset with him. Instead of me, he gives preference to his wife. He used to disobey me and listened to his wife. The Prophet said to her, ‘Your displeasure has stopped Alkamah from reciting the Kalimah.’ The Prophet then ordered his Companions to gather some wood and to burn him. The mother asked whether they were really going to burn her son in front of her? The Prophet told her, ‘Allah's punishment is much greater. If you want Allah to forgive Alkamah, you must first forgive him yourself. His praying, fasting and alms-giving will do him no good.’ His mother raised her hands and said, ‘I have forgiven him.’ The Prophet sent Bilal to check on Alkamahh. He was reading the Kalimah. Alkamahh died that very day. The Prophet arranged his funeral and led his Janazah. After that he stood up and addressed the people. ‘The person who prefers his wife rather then his mother, Allah’s curse be upon him. His faraaidh and nawafil will not be accepted.’
PRAYER OF THE MOTHER , CURSE OR BLESSING?
It has been stated in a Hadith that the Holy Prophet said:
“There are three such people whose Dua's are accepted instantly:
1) The dua of an oppressed person.
2) The dua of a traveller.
3) A mother's Dua for her child.
Allow me to tell you a story of a person who used to live before our Prophet . This person was a monk, who used to live in a church, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week just worshiping. His name was Juraij. One day, Juraij was in his prayer when his mother came, and called out to him. Juraij thought to himself, my Mother or Allah, he gave preference to his prayer and left his mother standing. This happened thrice. On the third time, his mother got up and cursed him saying, “May Allah not give you death, until you see a prostitute”.
Inside the church, there used to be a shepherd who had committed adultery with a girl. He used to come every now and then from the neighbouring town. When this woman got pregnant and gave birth, she was taken to the presence of the King and when the king asked her, she blamed Juraij for being the father of her child. The king had ordered that Juraij‘s church be demolished, he be handcuffed and be bought to him.
When he was brought to the presence of the king, the king said to him, “Do you know what this woman is claiming?” Juraij asked, “What is she claiming?” The king said, “She claims that her son is from you”. Juraij started laughing. After a while, Juraij asked the baby, “Who is your father?” He replied “The shepherd”. The king said, “Oh Juraij, shall we make your church out of gold”. He replied, “No”.
Then he asked, How about silver? He replied, “No” he said. “Just restore it to its previous state”. Then the king said “Let me ask you one question why were you laughing? He replied, “This business is between my mother and me.
Let me tell you another story. Once Hazrat Musa Alayhis Salam asked Allah Taa'la, “Who will be with me in paradise? Allah Taa'la replied, “Such and such person, a butcher he will be.
Hazarat Musa Alayhis Salam was curious to know which deed it is which will make him a neighbour of a Prophet, so he went to spend the day with him to find out what deed it was, so he found out that every day after work he used to go home and clean his mothers waste and feed her food. Upon this, his mother used to make dua for him that may Allah make you the neighbour of a Prophet.
Offering Salaam Is An Islamic Duty
It has been narrated from Hazrat Ali that the Holy Prophet said, "Commonly in Islam there are six rights of a Muslim upon a Muslim: when he meets him he should give him salaam; when he invites him (to a meal) he should accept it; when he sneezes he should bless him; when he falls ill he should visit him; when he dies he should accompany his funeral and he should prefer for him that which he prefers for himself."
Replying To Salaam Is A Duty Of A Muslim
Nasai narrates from Hazrat Abu Hurairah that the Holy Prophet said, "There are rights of a Muslim over a Muslim: Responding to salaam, visiting the sick, following the bier (A platform upon which the corpse rests), accepting an invitation (to a meal) and blessing a person who sneezes."
This narration has been narrated in Sahih Muslim in these words, "There are six rights upon a Muslim". The Prophet was asked, "What are these O’ Prophet of Allah?" The Prophet replied, "When you meet him, give him salaam, when he invites you, (to a meal) accept it, when he seeks counselling from you give him counselling and when he sneezes and says Alhamdulillah, bless him, when he falls ill visit him and when he dies accompany his funeral."
Warning Upon Not Replying To The Salaam
It has been narrated from Abdur Rahmaan ibn Shayba; he says the Holy Prophet said, "A rider should give salaam to a walking person, a walking person should give salaam to a seated person, a small group should give salaam to a larger group, whoever then responds to salaam, it is for his benefit, and he who does not respond to salaam, is not from amongst us." Ibn Sunni has narrated this and also Imaam Bukhari in his book Al Adabul Mufrad. On these bases Allama Nawawi in his commentary of Sahih Muslim has said, "To commence salaam is Sunnah and to reply is Wajib." Similarly Hafiz ibn Abdul Bar says, "It is an unanimous agreement of the Muslims that to commence Salaam is Sunnah and to reply is Wajib."
The Virtue of Commencing Salaam
It has been narrated by Abu Umamah that the Holy Prophet said, "Whoever commences Salaam is very close to Allah and His Messenger Muhammad ()" Ibn Sunni has narrated this.
In Imaam Ahmad’s narration there is, "The closest to Allah, the most glorious and eminent one, from amongst all the people is the one who commences salaam."
Similarly Tabrani narrates from Abu Darda, who says that we asked the Holy Prophet , "O Prophet of Allah, we meet each other, so who from amongst us should give salaam first?" The Holy Prophet replied, "The one who is the most obedient to Allah from amongst you."
Reward For Giving Salaam
It has been narrated by Saalim that the Holy Prophet said, "He who says Assalaamu Alaikum (Peace be upon you) ten rewards are written down for him, and he who says Assalaamu Alaikum wa rahmatullah (Peace be upon you and Allah’s mercy) for him twenty rewards are written down and he who says Assalaamu Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh (Peace be upon you and Allah’s mercy and blessing) thirty rewards are written down (for him)."
In support of this Hadith we find a narration by Ibn Umar in Musannaf-Abdul-Razzak; It has been narrated in this Hadith that a person came in the presence of the Holy Prophet and said, "Assalamu Alaikum." The Holy Prophet replied, "Ten." Then a second Sahabi came and said, "Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatullah." The Holy Prophet replied, "Twenty." Then a third Sahabi arrived and said, "Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh." Upon this the Holy Prophetsaid, "Thirty." That is to say upon three words thirty rewards will be written down.
What is Salaam?
Imam Baihaqi narrates in discontinuation from Ibne Abbas, that As-Salaam is amongst Allah’s names and also this is the greeting of the dwellers of Paradise.
Imaam Bukhari in his Al-Adabul-Mufrad narrates from Hazrat Anas that the Holy Prophet said, "As-salaam is indeed a name from the names of Allah, which Allah has placed upon the Earth, therefore spread salaam amongst yourselves in abundance."
The Manner of giving Salaam
Abu Yala narrates from Hazrat Abu Hurairah that the Holy Prophet said, "When anyone of you decides to offer salaam he should say ‘Assalaamu Alaikum’, because Allah, the most Glorious and Eminent one is As-salaam, for this reason do not commence with anything before saying Allah’s name."
Conduct With The Person Who Does Not Say Salaam
It has been narrated from Ibn Umar, that the Holy Prophet said, "He who speaks without firstly giving salaam, then do not answer him (to what he has to say)
Spread Salaam
Hazrat Abdullah ibn Salaam says, "When the Holy Prophet arrived in Madinah, the people lost no time in arriving in the presence of the Holy Prophet . I was amongst the people who had arrived to see him. When I looked with thoughtfulness at the Holy Prophet’s radiant face, I realised with certainty that this is no face of a liar."
Abdullah ibn Salaam says, "The very first thing which I heard the Holy Prophet say was, ‘O’ People, spread salaam and feed the people, keep good relations with your kith and kin and at nightfall engage yourself in salaah while others are asleep, for you will enter Paradise safely."
In Mu’atta, Tufail ibn Abi Shayba regarding Ibn Umar radiyallahu anhuma says that one day when I came to Abdullah ibn Umar, he asked me to go to the market (with him). I asked, "What are you going to do in the market? You do not go to any salesman, or ask about any goods or its price nor do you want to sit in any market gatherings, so stay here with us, we will talk here."
Abdullah ibn Umar then said, "O Abu Battan, (he called him Abu Battan because Tufail ibn Abi had a large stomach) we are going to the market for the cause of giving salaam."
Similarly Ibn Sunni has narrated about Abu Imaam Baa’ali that he said to Muhammad ibn Ziyaad, "O my nephew the Holy Prophethas commanded us that we spread salaam."
A Rider Should Give Salaam To A Walking Person
It has been narrated by Fudhala ibn Ubaid that the Holy Prophet said, "A rider should give salaam to a walking person, a walking person should give salaam to a standing person and a small group of people should give salaam to a larger group."
Similarly it has been narrated by Hazrat Jabir that the Holy Prophet said, "An elder person should give salaam to a younger one, one person should give salaam to two, a small group of people should give salaam to a larger one, a rider should give salaam to a walking person, a passer-by should give salaam to a standing person and a person who is standing should give salaam to a seated person."
Likewise it has been narrated by Abu Hurairah that the Holy Prophetsaid, "A rider should give salaam to a walking person and a walking person should give salaam to a seated person and when a small group of people pass by a larger group they (the smaller group) should give salaam."
Similarly it has been narrated by Jabir that the Holy Prophet said, "A rider should give salaam to a walking person and a walking person should give salaam to a seated person, but if two walking persons meet each other, then whoever commences salaam first from the two, is superior."
Similarly it is narrated by Hazrat Abu Hurairah he the Holy Prophet said, "A younger person should give salaam to an elder person, a by-passer to a seated person and a small group of people to a larger group."
Giving And Replying To Salaam From One Person Is Sufficient
It has been narrated by Hazrat Ali that the Holy Prophet said, "The salaam of a person, from a passing group of people, will be sufficient on behalf of all the group, likewise if one person from those who are seated replies to the salaam, it will be sufficient on behalf of all the rest."
Giving Salaam To The Children
In Sunan-e-Abu Dawood, it has been narrated by Hazrat Anas that, "The Holy Prophet came by us at the time when I was a child together with other children and greeted us all with salaam. Then the Holy Prophet took hold of my hand and sent me on an errand (with a message). The Holy Prophetwas waiting in the shade of a wall until my return."
Similarly Imaam Muslim, Imaam Ahmad, Imaam Tirmidhi and Imaam Darami narrate from Hazrat Yasaar that he said, "I was walking with Thabit Binai when he passed by some children. He conveyed salaam to them, and began to say that once he was walking with Hazrat Anas and when he passed by some children he also greeted them with salaam. Hazrat Anas then narrated a Hadith, that he was walking with the Holy Prophetand when they passed by some children, the Holy Prophet greeted them with salaam."
Similarly Imaam Nasai narrates from Hazrat Anas that when the Holy Prophet would set out to meet the Ansar, he would greet their children with salaam, and would place his blessed hands upon the children’s heads and make dua for them.
Similarly Imaam Bukhari and Ibn Sunni narrate that Hazrat Anas has related that the Holy Prophet suddenly came upon some women, children and some servants who were returning from a wedding. The Holy Prophet gave salaam to them and said, "In the name of Allah, I love you all."
The Correct Words Of Salaam
Abu Tameema narrates from a Sahabi who reported, "I said ‘Alaikas Salaam (Upon you be peace) O’ Messenger of Allah."
The Holy Prophet said, "Alaikas Salaam are the words of the deceased person’s salaam. When one of you meets his fellow brother, he should say Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullah."
The Manner Of Greeting The Dead In The Grave Yard
It has been narrated by Hazrat Abu Huraira that the Holy Prophet came towards the cemetery and said, "Alaikas Salaam (Upon you be peace), O’ people of this abode, from amongst the believers, verily, if Allah wishes, we are going to join you in a short while."
In another narration it has been narrated thus, that when the Holy Prophet passed by the graves, he would say, "Salaam be upon you, O’ people of this abode from the believing men and believing women, Muslim men, Muslim women, pious men, pious women, indeed if Allah wishes, we will join you."
The first narration has been narrated by Imaam Abu Dawood and the second narration has been narrated by Allama Suyuti in his book Jaame-us-Sageer.
Giving Salaam To The People Of A Gathering
It has been narrated by Hazrat Abu Huraira that the Holy Prophet said, "If any one of you enters any gathering, he should give salaam. He should then remain seated to that extent he has in his mind, and when he decides to return, he should again give salaam. The reason being that the first salaam is not more rightful than the second, that is, he gives the first salaam and not the second." This narration has been narrated by Imaam Abu Dawood, Imaam Tirmizi and Ibne Sunni.
Reply To A Third Person’s Salaam
A person from (the tribe of) Banu Tameem narrates from his father who narrates from his paternal grandfather that he arrived in the presence of the Holy Prophet and said, "My father sends salaam upon you."
The Holy Prophet replied, "Wa Alaika Wa’alaa Abeekas Salaam (Peace be upon you and your father)." Imaam Abu Dawood, Nasai and Ibn Sunni have narrated this.
Similarly it has been narrated by Hazrat Aisha radiyallahu anha that the Holy Prophet said, "Jibraeel sends salaam upon you."
Hazrat Aisha replied, "Wa Alaihis Salaam Wa Rahmatullahi Wabarakatuh (Peace be upon him and Allah’s mercy and blessings). You (O’ Prophet) can see things which we cannot."
Similarly Imaam Bukhari and Imaam Muslim have related Abu Huraira’s narration, he says, Jibraeel the trustworthy arrived in the presence of the Noble Prophet and said, "This is Khadija, who is coming, she has with her a utensil in which there is curry (or he said food, or drink). When she arrives give, her salaam from her sustainer and myself, and give her glad tidings of a house in Paradise which will be hollow in which there will be no loud noise (din) nor weariness."
Ibne Sunni has narrated this narration in more detail. It is narrated by Amr bin Wahb that Hazrat Khadija set out in search of the Holy Prophet in the upper part of Makkah Mukarrama. Hazrat Khadija had the Holy Prophet’sfood with her. Jibraeel the trustworthy met Hazrat Khadija in the form of a man and questioned her regarding the Holy Prophet . Hazrat Khadija began to tremble and thought that, probably he is from those who are out to harm the Holy Prophet .
Hazrat Khadija mentioned this incident to the Holy Prophet. The Holy Prophet replied that he was Jibraeel the trustworthy. He has informed me that he has met you and he has also told me that you have food with you and that is Hees (a sweet dish). Hazrat Jibraeel the trustworthy has said, "Give salaam to Khadija from Allah the most glorious and eminent one, and give her glad tidings of a house in Paradise which will be hollow in which they will no loud noise (din) nor weariness."
Hazrat Khadija said, "Allah the exalted is Himself As-Salaam (The Giver of peace) and peace comes from Him, Salaam be upon Jibraeel, he is the messenger of Allah. Salaam be upon you and salaam be upon all those who are listening but Shaytaan.
O’ Prophet of Allah, what is the hollow house in Paradise wherein they will be no loud noise (din) nor weariness?"
The Holy Prophet replied, "It will be a secure house made out of pearl."
Giving Salaam Even After A Short Separation
It has been narrated by Anas that the companions of the Holy Prophet would walk together and when a tree would come in their way they would separate towards the left and right. Then on meeting each other, one of them would greet the other with salaam.
Salaam Upon The Noble Prophet Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam At The Time Of Entering A Masjid.
Hazrat Abu Huraira narrates the saying of the Holy Prophet , "When anyone amongst you enters a Masjid" or he said, "When anyone amongst you arrives at a Masjid, he should send salaam upon the Holy Prophet and say, ‘Allahumma aftahli abwaba rahmatik’, (O Allah, open the doors of your mercy for me) and when he comes out of the Masjid he should also then send salaam upon the Holy Prophet and say, ‘Allahumma a’ithni min ash-shaytaan ir-rajee’ (O Allah give me refuge from the accursed Shaytaan). In the narration of Ibn Majah these words have been narrated, ‘Bismillahi was-salaamu ala rasullullahi’ (I begin in the name of Allah, Salaam be upon Allah’s Messenger)."
The Virtue Of Giving Salaam In One’s Own Home And Then Setting Out
It has been narrated by Abu Umamah Al Ba’ali from the Holy Prophet that he said, "There is no one like he who performs wudhu thoroughly and then washes both his hands, feet and face, then gargles his mouth and performs his wudhu in the manner in which Allah has commanded him but sins which he has committed by talking or walking towards are wiped away, such that sins committed by his limbs are forgiven. When he walks towards the Masjid he gets one reward for every step he takes. His salaah remains an extra bonus for him, that is when he enters upon his family, greets them with salaam and lies down upon his bed, for him is the reward of a full nights worship."
Imaam Bukhari in his book Al-Adabul Mufrad has mentioned a narration, "There are three types of people who are all in all in the care of Allah. If they stay alive they will find a life of sufficiency and if they pass away they will enter Paradise. One is he who enters his own home by giving salaam, is in the care of Allah the most glorious and eminent one. The second person who is in the care of Allah the most glorious and eminent one is he who goes out towards the Masaajid. The third person who is in the care of Allah, is he who goes out in the path of Allah."
Also Ibn Sunni relates a narration of Abu Huraira that he said, "It is the saying of the Holy Prophet that definitely there is an illumination and light for Islam, like a pathway which is well lit. That a Muslim should worship Allah and must not associate anything with him. He must carry out Fardh Salaah, give Zakaah, perform Hajj of Baitullah, keep the fast of the auspicious month of Ramadhaan and enjoin right conduct and forbid indecency. To give salaam to your household when you enter upon them, and to give salaam upon those Muslims you pass by. If they reply to your salaam then the angels will return salaam upon them and if they do not answer to your salaam, the angels will reply to your salaam, and curse them or they will stay quiet with them. Whoever has let go of one of the above mentioned then he has let go of a part of Islam and whoever throws them all away has thrown Islam behind his back."
Likewise a narration of Sahih Muslim is narrated from Miqdad ibn Aswad , he says we three companions arrived in the presence of the Holy ProphetThen the Holy Prophet took us to his household (family), there were three goats there. He (The Holy Prophet ) told the three of us to take the milk and distribute it amongst ourselves whenever we needed it. Miqdad says, "We obeyed the command and would leave a portion for the Holy Prophet." Hazrat Miqdad says that the Holy Prophet would come at night and would give salaam in such a manner that it would not wake a sleeping person but would be heard by a person who was awake. Then he would go to the Masjid to pray his salaah and then would drink his own portion.
A woman in Islam occupies a unique position, where she is ranked in a manner, which enables her to be respected in the fashion that she desires.
In our contemporary society Islam is considered an oppressive religion. In this society, women are viewed as objects: they are used, abused and victims of terrible crimes. In Islam, women are held high in esteem. Islam has liberated women from many things and has given them back their self-respect.
Through reading this booklet you can learn of the many benefits that a Muslim woman gains. You can also learn of the Shar’i view regarding women in certain situations, which gives you an insight of how to behave and practice in correct accordance to the Qur’an and Sunnah.
FRENCH DISCOVERY
Allah Ta’aalaa states in the Qur’an:
"And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness. " (2: 228)
This aayah of the Holy Qur’an shows that the status of men and women are equal in that their rights are mutually compulsive (obligatory).
However, these "rights" are slightly different, as extorted in the verse:
"Men are in charge of women because Allah hath made the one of them excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women)." (4: 34)
THE STATUS OF WOMEN IN PRE-ISLAMIC DAYS :
Prior to Islam (in the days of ignorance) it was prevalent in the world that women were valued for even less then an item of domestic use. She was bought and sold as cattle. She had no choice of spouse - whoever her guardians chose for her, she would have to go with them. Women would not receive inheritance from deceased relatives, but instead she was included amongst the household goods (in the will). Men owned her, but herself owned nothing. Whatever was counted as her own she couldn’t utilize it according to her will.
In some continents, for example, in Europe (which is now regarded as the epitome of civilization and culture) women were not counted amongst humans. They didn’t have standing in religion, as they were considered unworthy of either worshipping or attaining Paradise.
In certain Roman circles, it was decided that women were defiled soulless animals.
Generally, for a father to bury his daughter alive was acceptable and was regarded as noble and respectable on his part. Many believed that if a husband died, then his wife should be cremated and her ashes buried with him.
In 586 AD, in France (after much conflict), women were granted with some kindness that women were humans but were created only to serve man!
The Mercy of Both Worlds, and the religion which the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam brought was an eye opener for the world, teaching human to value human, spreading a constitution of justice and equality - women’s rights were portioned in the same manner as men had rights. Islam gave her the freedom of choice - she was made the mistress of her life and property, just as men were their own born masters. Marriage did not make her totally dependent, as the man no longer had any say in her own wealth. On the death / divorce of her husband, she was given the right to choose what she willed.
As far as inheritance was concerned she would also receive from her relatives. In fact the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallammade it an act of worship to spend on her and keep her happy. When women had no suitable rights, it was an oppression which Islam removed. However, if we momentarily look into what has happened to the status of women we shall find that to allow for complete independence, away from the guarding eyes of men, to make her solely responsible for her life and its necessities is in itself a dejection of her rights and corruption.
As the Arabic proverb relates:
"The ignorant man can never be moderate."
Islam is a life of moderation yet time and time again we find ourselves turning this moderation into a self inflicted life of extremities.
HEAVENLY RIGHTS
The " Days of Ignorance" were days in which every woman lived a devastating pitiful life. The culprits of such violence were not any superior beings, or any exalted creation, they were none but the very fathers, brothers, husbands, and fellow brothers of these silently suffering women.
An expectant mother would silently pray that the child she would bear would be a boy. Backing her desire for a boy would be an inner fear created by the men of her clan. For, if a girl was born, the mother would be reprimanded, her honor diminished. The father instead of rejoicing would be overcome with a mixture of shame and embarrassment. To announce the birth of a girl would be an issue of degradation and dishonor. The father’s only solution would be to silently take the child away and bury her alive beneath the ground.
We have taken the liberty, by the grace of Allah Ta’aalaa to bring to light how the Qur’an has upgraded women.
Allah Ta’aalaa has stated in the Holy Qur’an: " And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief. He hides himself from the people because of the evil of that whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonor or bury her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision." (An Nahl: 58 -59)
On another occasion Allah Ta’aalaa has stated within the mention of the happenings of the Day of Judgement: "And when the girl child that was buried alive is asked for what sin she was slain," (At- Takweer : 8-9 )
Those parents involved in burying their daughters alive are held in contempt by Allah Ta’aalaa. For this reason, on the Day of Judgement Allah Ta’aalaa will turn away from them and then ask the innocent child, for which wrongdoing were you slain?
For this helpless child, regardless of her cries and pleas no person was present to remove the heaps of soil and stone, which were so inhumanly thrown upon her.
It is the blessing of Islam that not only was this absurd custom abolished, but the birth of a girl is now considered a great blessing and virtue.
The Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam has stated: " Whosoever raises three girls (daughters \ sisters), upbringing them with good manners, and shows mercy upon them, until they are no longer dependent, then Allah will make Paradise obligatory upon him."
Upon hearing this a Companion questioned the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, " O’ Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, does this virtue apply to one who raises two girls?" The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam replied in the affirmative. Again the Companions enquired about the raising of one girl, again the reply was "yes".
Surah An-Nisaa " Women" is so called because it deals largely with women’s rights, exterminating the wretched beliefs and oppressions, which had been laid upon women before Islam.
Islam awards women with human rights, verily, upon women is to fulfil the rights of men but equally it is also upon men to fulfil the rights of women. As mentioned in the following verse: " And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them, (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them." (Al- Baqarah: 228)
A woman holds such responsibilities, which a man does not hold. It is upon her to ensure the children’s stability, take care of home affairs etc. Whereas, man is responsible for earning, giving of dowry etc. The fact those men are a level greater than women are once again for the benefit of women. Allah Ta’aalaa has stated:
" Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (eg. their chastity and their husband’s property)." (An-Nisaa: part verse 34)
Necessarily, every systematic group requires a leader, accordingly every household requires a leader. Allah has appointed men as leaders to their greater physical and mental stability.
As leaders, men are not entitled to give orders only, but the Holy Qur’an also instructs them upon discussing issues of importance and seeking advice from women.
" Because Allah hath made the one of them excel the other." (An- Nisaa: Part verse 34)
By taking the human body as an example the above aayah can be understood to a clearer degree. Obviously, the head excels the rest of the body. However, the hands are also an essential and vital part of the human body.
So, by stating the head as being the superior should not degrade the value of the hands. Similarly, the Qur’an relates; men are in charge of women, positioning them a level higher, however, this does not imply towards the degradation of women.
Prior to Islam, it was prevalent amongst the men to believe themselves to possess the wealth and being of women. Whoever married a woman believed himself to hold her very life in his possession. Upon his death the heirs would regard her as an object inherited from her deceased husband.
However, if the heirs desired to marry her they would instantly do so, otherwise they would use her as a source of income by demanding money from whosoever they chose for her to marry.
Upon the death of his father, a man would marry to any of his deceased fathers wives if he desired to. One can now understand that if a woman was regarded as a possessed object, then obviously, one can further understand the affairs regarding her own goods. This one foundational error was the outcome of numerous hardships women faced:
Whatever a woman received from her family as gifts or inheritance would mercilessly be taken away from her by her husband or the men of his clan.
Many cases were such that even though a woman was not at fault her husband would hold her in contempt, and thus, disregard her rights. Instead, he would deliberately abstain from divorcing her so that she herself becomes compelled to free herself by Returning the jewels and dowry she received earlier, or if he had not as yet given her any dowry etc. then she would be compelled to overlook these rights.
If before marriage a woman held possession of certain goods, the man of her family would not allow her to marry as she would be entitled to take her goods with her. Instead they would forcefully detain her until she met her death and her goods would then fall as heritage upon them.
Various conditions were such that upon the death of her husband, the inheritors would not allow her to remarry, for reasons centered around absurd customs or, to use the widowed as a source of income.
The Holy Qur’an abolished such baseless ways and uprooted their existence. Allah Ta’aalaa has stated in the Holy Qur’an:
"O’ye who believe! It is not lawful for you forcibly to inherit the women (of your deceased kinsmen), nor (that) ye should put constraint upon them that ye may take away a part of that which ye have given them, unless they be guilty of flagrant lewdness. But consort with them in kindness, for if ye dislike them it may happen that ye dislike a thing wherein Allah hath placed much good." (An-Nisaa: 19)
In the above verse where mentioned: ‘forcibly’ does not connotate the order to be conditional in accordance to a woman’s will, because to possess a woman’s life and wealth without a Shar’iah or a logical reason is obviously a forceful situation. As well as indicating the severity of such an act, another indication of this verse can also be if a woman is forcefully married against her will and consent then such a marriage, according to the Shar’iah is not permitted and is invalid.
Similarly, if a woman is compelled to return her dowry, or to forcefully pardon it, then in accordance to the Shariah this is not an acceptable act. It is not permissible for her husband to have this, and nor is he permitted to overlook any "Waajib" right.
The Qur’an has highlighted this as has been quoted earlier.
To pay the dowry and then forcefully take it back, and to promise to pay a certain amount and then disregard this is unlawful and not permitted.
Similarly, any goods which belong to a woman, whether in the form of the dowry or gifts, are not her husbands possession, hence, neither he nor his inheritors are permitted to benefit from these.
A limited selection of verses will now be portrayed to further clarify this issue:
PRE- ISLAMIC CUSTOM:
It occurred to many believing women in the era of Prophecy, that the mention of men is largely made within the Holy Qur’an in contrast to that of women. This thought was brought forward to the Holy Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, saying, "We see within the verses of the Holy Qur’an that Allah Ta’aalaa mentions men, He addresses them, this means we women are deprived of goodness, We fear our worship may not even be accepted."
Qur’anic Awardment :
"For Muslim men and woman, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast, for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah’s remembrance. For them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward."(surah Ahzaab : 35)
PRE ISLAMIC CUSTOM:
Hadhrat Umme Salamaa (R.A) once questioned the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, "We (women) receive only half of what men receive (within inheritance), and there are other issues where we have been positioned differently."
Qur’anic Awardment:
"And wish not for the things in which Allah has made some of you to excelothers. For men there is reward for what they have earned, (and likewise) for women there is reward for what they have earned and ask Allah of His bounty. Surely, Allah is ever All-knower of every thing." (Surah Nisaa: 32)
PRE ISLAMIC CUSTOM:
Amongst the Jews it was wrongly believed that a menstruating female was an object of impurity. Thus she was made to live separately and would not be allowed to join other family members for meals etc. In contrast, the Christian ways were such that they would go to the extent of having intercourse with a menstruating female.
Qur’anic Awardment:
"They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses.) Therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they are purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina.) Truly, Allah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves them who purify themselves (by taking a bath and cleaning and washing thoroughly their private parts and bodies for their prayers.) (Al-Baqarah: 222)
PRE-ISLAMIC CUSTOMS:
To wed any from a deceased father’s wives was considered normality. The person who he had titled as "mother" all his life, would suddenly upon his will, become his wife the instant his father was deceased.
Qur’anic Awardment:
"And marry not women whom your fathers married, except what has already passed: indeed it was shameful and most hateful, and an evil way. Prohibited to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters; your brother’s daughters, your sister’s daughters; your foster mother who gave you suck, your foster milk suckling sisters; your wives, mothers; your step daughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom ye have gone in, but there is no sin on you if ye have not gone in them (to marry their daughters), the wives of your sons who (spring from your own loins, and two sisters in wedlock at the same time, except for what has already past; verily Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful. Also (forbidden are) women already married, except (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Thus has Allah ordained for you. All others are lawful, provided you seek (them in marriage) with meher (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) from your property, desiring chastity, committing illegal sexual intercourse, so with those of whom you have enjoyed sexual relations, give them their meher as prescribed; but if after a meher is prescribed you agree mutually (to give more), there is no sin on you. Surely Allah is ever All Knowing, and All Wise." (Surah Nisaa: 22-24)
PRE ISLAMIC CUSTOMS:
The bestowal of dowry was made a deprivation, as the husband would not allow his wife any share. Many husbands would force their wives to overlook the matter. If dowry was given it would be with much discourtesy and grudge.
Qur’anic Awardment :
"And give the women (on marriage) their dower with good heart; but if they of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you take it and enjoy it with right good cheer." (Surah Nisaa: 4)
PRE ISLAMIC CUSTOM:
It was firmly believed amongst the Arabs that the only persons worthy of inheritance were those who were able to mount horses, and fight the enemies; leaving no room for women or the young.
Qur’anic Awardment:
"Allah thus directs you as regard your children’s (inheritance) to the male, a portion equal to that of two females: if only daughters, two or more, their share is two thirds of the inheritance; if only one, her share is half. For parents, a sixth share of the inheritance to each if the deceased left children; if no children, and the parents are the (only) heirs the mother has a third. If the deceased left brothers or (sisters) the mother has a sixth. (The distribution in all cases is) after the payment of legacies he ma have bequeathed or debts. You know not which of them, whether your parents or your children are nearest to you in benefit. These are settled portions ordained by Allah: and Allah is all Knowing, all wise." (Surah Nisaa: 11)
PRE ISLAMIC CUSTOM:
Orphans and women were the prey to inhuman violence and oppression. Firstly, no such rights were reserved for them and secondly, if they were deservent of any such rights the men from their own clan made this virtually impossible.
Qur’anic Awardment:
" There is a share for men and a share for women from what is left by parents and those nearest related, whether, the property be small or large- a legal share. And when the relatives and the orphans and Al-Masaakeen (the poor) are present at the time of division, give them out of the property, and speak to them words of kindness and justice. And let those (executors and guardians) have the same fear in their minds as they would have for their own, if they had left weak offspring behind. So let them fear Allah and speak right words, Verily, those who unjustly eat up the property of orphans, they eat up only fire into their bellies, and they will be burnt in the blazing fire!" (Surah Nisaa: 7-10)
ENDURANCE
It is a distinctive characteristic of the companions of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam to uphold patience upon the agitations and complaints of their wives and acknowledgement of the fact that whatever opposition they may face from their wives reflects upon their own relationship with Allah Ta’aalaa.
So, he who defies Allah will encounter antagonism from his spouse. It should be understood, however, that this only occurs within some cases and is not without exception, e.g. omission of the Prophets (A. S.) due to their abstaining from all sins. The former scholars endured the strife of their wives, maintaining the belief that their grievances were surpassed by their betterments. The Sahaaba fulfilled the rights of their wives and the confrontation of defiance did not prevent them from acting upon the following hadeeth: - "Be honest with him who is honest with you, but do not be dishonest with him who is dishonest with you",Both the husband and wife have been assigned certain rights upon the other which are constantly mentioned in the books of Ahadeeth of jurisprudence.
Hadhrat Ka’ab Ahbaar (R. A.) has stated, "Whosoever endures patience upon the troubles of his wife, Allah Ta’aalaa will grant him the reward which was awarded to Hadhrat Ayyub (A.S.)".
Hadhrat Ali (R.A) has said," Amongst a woman’s struggles is to wholly submit herself towards her husband."
Hadhrat Hasan Basri (R. A.) has reported," Four items are from amongst the unfortunate; abundance of children, insufficiency of property, disagreeable neighbours and a wife who is dishonest with her husband."
The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam has stated, "If Allah did not shroud a woman with modesty she would not even be equivalent to a handful of sand."
Hadhrat Ali (R.A) would proclaim, "five attainments are from amongst the prosperity of man: that his wife be agreeable; his offspring righteous; his brother God-fearing; his associates devout; and his provisions present in his hand."
The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam would supplicate, "Oh Allah I seek your protection from an ignorant companion, disagreeable neighbours and an annoying wife."
Upon the demise of his wife Malik Ibn Deenaar (R.A.) refrained from a second marriage. He would say, "If it was possible to do so, I would divorce myself."
(This was the extent of his aversion to the world).
Hadhrat Ahmed Ibn Harb (R.A) has stated, "When six qualities accumulate within woman her reformation is complete: the safe keeping of the five daily prayers, obedience to the husband, to obtain Allah’s pleasure, protection of the tongue against backbiting, rejection of worldly goods and endurance upon misfortunes."
Hadhrat Abdullah Ibn Mubarak (R.A.) has reported that the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam has cautioned against the mischief of women saying, "She procures disruption upon husbands in order to break ties between kinsmen. She considers them deprived due to deficiency of earnings and she is a source of corruption caused by lust and desire."
Hadhrat Hatim Al Asam has said, " A devout woman is the upholder of religion, organizer of the house and an accomplice upon obedience. An aggressive wife, however, melts the heart of her husband mockingly."
Hadhrat Abdullah Ibn Amr (R. A.) has said, "A woman’s destination to Hell becomes evident when for the sake of her husband she appears happy in his presence but is dishonest with him in his absence."
Hadhrat Shaqiq Balkhi (R.A.) once remarked to his wife, "If your rank exalted mine, I would be incapable of preserving my religion, even if all the citizens of Balkh supported me."
Hadhrat Malik Ibn Umair (RA.) has expressed the opinion that," The ageing of a woman, results in the sterility of her womb, deception of her tongue and the deterioration of her conduct. Upon the ageing of a man his views become more authorative, his temper recedes and his attitude improves."
Hadhrat Hatim Al Asam has also said, " The righteousness of a woman is confirmed when the fear of Allah becomes her competence, her contentedness upon Allah’s givings is her wealth, generosity in all that she owns becomes her adornment, assistance of her husband, her worship and preparation for death - her motive."
He would also add the following advice, "Support the husband of your daughter or sister in order to safe-guard her religion. Never defend your daughter or sister against her husband as this will lead to the ruin of her religion."
Once Hadhrat Abu Mute’e Balakhi (RA.) complained to Hadhrat Ayyub Ibn Khalaf (R.A.) with relevance to his wife. Hadhrat Ayyub (R. A:) replied, "Whosoever cannot tolerate the agitations of his wife, how can he maintain to surpass her in rank?" It has been reported that the state of Hadhrat Hatim Ul Asam (R.A.) in his house was similar to that of an imprisoned animal. He would eat if food was offered to him, otherwise he would remain silent and be content to stay hungry."
The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam stated, "A sinful woman is equal to a thousand evil doers."
Hadhrat Ayaas Bin Moaawiyyah (RA.) once said, " I have not recognized any cure for two people, he who represses his urine and an aggressive wife."
We acknowledge from the afore mentioned sayings that former scholars endured the strife of their wives and did not oppose them unless for their own betterment.
(Tanbeehul Mughtarreen)
HIS AND HERS
-It is the husband’s incumbent duty to organize and enforce the religious, spiritual and moral teachings of his wife and children. In the execution of which he may use harsh methods if all else fails.
- The husband is obliged to provide his wife with a home, food and clothing and to keep his wives allowance at a generous level.
-It is of paramount importance that a husband treats his wife with kindness, affection and respect and not to take heed of any unfavorable traits in her character.
-It is a husband’s obligation unto his wife that he regularly presents her with all the necessary requirements for the successful running of a household.
-A husband must speak to his wife with fondness, and share with her his private thoughts, in earnest is also advisable.
-A husband should not cast aspersions on the chastity of his wife on false grounds, nor do anything to harass and ill-treat his wife.
- The chastisement of a wife is only allowed as a last resort, in any one of four cases:
1. When she refuses to adorn herself as her husband wishes.
2. When she refuses his call without any permitted excuse.
3. When she refuses to take a bath from impurities.
4. When she travels without her husband’s permission.
-The conjugal act is the right of the husband, which a wife cannot deny without a valid reason. Permitted reasons for refusal are:
1. If she is on her menstrual period.
2. During Nifaas
-It is purely within a husbands right to refuse to sleep with his wife for a short period as a method of punishment it if he discovers a lack in his wives’s religious inclinations.
-Polygamy is perfectly within the rights of any man in which the wife/wives has/have no say. The legalized limit however, is four wives at any single time with the strict condition of equal rights and treatment in every possible aspect of marital life.
-The option to pronounce divorce or to cancel a provisional divorce rests purely with the husband.
-A wife must always remember that her obligations are unto her husband disregarding any others.
-A wife is expected to contribute to the success of a marriage to the extent of creating a means of living, if her husband is helpless.
-A wife must remain attentive to her husband’s comfort and well being for his happiness and it is obligatory for her to beautify herself for him.
-A wife’s total faithfulness to her husband in heart, mind, gaze and body is a virtue.
-A wife should be of total obedience to her husband, as it is incumbent in all lawful things. Even if these duties are not imposed on her by Shariah but her observance of her
Husband’s wishes will be reckoned as a virtuous deed on her part.
-It is not permissible for a wife to hurt the feelings of her husband in any way. She is not to scorn him if he is dependent nor treat him with contempt if he is poor, but rather to comfort him in times of distress.
-A wife should not feign over her husband because of her beauty and wealth nor despising him if he is not handsome and poor.
-A wife is not to slander her husband when his back is turned. In the event of his absence she must guard her husbands property and her own chastity.
-It is the right of the wife to demand separate living quarters. Her bedroom however is her private chamber and she may therefore, prevent her-in-laws even her own parents from entering.
-It is advisable that a wife under takes all work regarding her husband’s home unto her own hands.
-It is not lawful for a wife to spend from her husband’s house except with their permission. However, if the husband is of a miserly nature then the wife may spend within limits without his permission.
-It is incumbent on a wife, to answer the call of her husband disregarding any other activity in which she may be occupied.
-A dissatisfied wife, for whatever the reason, is within her rights to demands the dissolution of marriage which is known as Khula. It is an option considerable by the wife as a means of securing divorce by returning a part of full amount of the dowre as agreed upon by the husband-but which is effective only upon the husband’s acceptance.
- To emphasize the extent of a wife’s submission to her husband. Islam has ordained obedience to the husband to be an act of greater importance and higher merit than nafl salaah and nafl sawm (fasting), which are amongst the highest forms of Ibaadah.
-A faithful wife who never betrays her husband in thought, gaze or deed is amongst the noblest of treasures bestowed unto a man by Allah Ta’aala.
May Allah Taa’laa fill our hearts with the light of Imaan and give us the true guidance to practice on his book and deen. Ameen)
Once a lady approached Hazrat Umar Ibn Khataab and she said, “Oh Commander of the faithful by day my husband fasts and by night he is diligent in prayer, thus I feel inadequate to complain of him as he is engaged in the obedience of the Almighty."
Hazrat Umar replied, "What a pious man your husband is."
The complaining lady repeated her complaint, in reply Hazrat Umar
repeated the above reply.
Kaab-e-asadi said unto Hazrat Umar ,
"Oh Commander of the faithful, this lady is complaining of her husband due to
the fact that her husband remains distant from her bed."
Hazrat Umar replied, “just as you have understood her intentions I feel
you should resolve her problems."
Kaab said, "Beckon your husband to me," and so he came forth. Hazrat
Kaab said unto her husband, "Your wife is complaining of you." Her
husband asked if she was complaining of the shortage in food or drink.
Hazrat Kaab replied, “No."
The lady said,
"Oh Chief Justice whose guidance is of great wisdom,
His place of worship has busied him; my beloved from my chamber.
Negligent is he unto my bed, the very works of his Ibadaah.
Hence, Oh Kaab make a decision, for he is indifferent be it day or night.
His days and nights pass without sleep. Hence, I find he is not praise worthy within womanly affairs."
The lady's husband replied:
"What has made me lose interest in sharing a bed within her bridal chamber, I am such who has been made to forget due to that which has been revealed.
In the Surah Al Nahal and seven other lengthily Surahs. Also the freighting, alarming Surahs of the Holy Quran."
Upon hearing the above Kaab states,
"Surely you have to fulfil her rights too. Her rights fall within four days for he who understands.
Hence, leave your excuses and bestow her with her rights."
He continues, "Verily, Allah Ta'aalaa has allowed two, three or four woman.
Thus for you are three days and nights for Ibadaah."
Having heard this Hazrat Umar proclaimed, “I swear by Allah that I am
confused as to whether the fact that you were able to instantly recognise the
true intent of the complaining wife is more astounding than your flair and
approach in resolving this matter is unknown to me. Be on your way, I announce
you the Governor of Basra as from today."
(Tafseer-e-Kurtubi)
By Sister Nahida.
see also: The high esteem of women in Islam
The status of women prior to Islam
GLOSSARY: (A complaint of Fragility)
Allah - Name of Creator of Universe
Hazrat - Respected elder
Ibadaah - Worship
Surah Al Nahl - One of the chapters from the 114 chapters in the Holy Quran
Ta'aalaa - (Allah) Most High
Tafseer-e-Kurtubi - Commentary from an Islamic Reference book
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